Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Missing pieces

In every group of children, there is a weird kid always, the one who had weird choices, whose jokes nobody got, who didn't like the same toys. I was that kid, I found the whole 'ghar-ghar' 'chor police' and the likes really pointless. I never understood why I should listen to Simon's weird third person commands... and hence I was the 'weird kid'.

I always found immense intrigue and poetry in jigsaws, the bigger the better. I simply loved the whole journey. When you start, its always a tossed case, because its such a long long way to the finish that you can't allow yourself to believe you'll be able to finish it at all. Then you start nevertheless, from a corner piece mostly. My first aim used to be to find the four corners always, you know, so you have a frame, then start by finishing the lines between each corner and finally filling the gaps in between.

Jigsaws, they used to be 'my thing' not barbies or doll houses... jigsaws, the one thing I'd rush to right after school, still in my uniform, trying to finish as many pieces as possible before my brother came home with his monster of an appetite.

And Sundays, my whole week used to be filled with daydreams of the beautiful Sunday morning, when Mommy would be home so I'll have all day to myself. I can't even count how many Sundays and how many puzzles I've solved as a child. When eventually, it became boring because I got the hang of it, I could sift the right pieces out with one swooshing glance at the bundle and solve the whole thing in no time at all. I remember the childish irritation then. As if the game had to be blamed for the tricks my mind had learnt with practice. And so I stopped playing it, I 'outgrew' it.

Now life feels like one long jigsaw Sunday. Though there is no picture on a cardboard to refer, there are no visible corner pieces, this is one shapeless jigsaw and all my tricks are either forgotten or failing. Though I've made a few lucky guesses. I don't even know how many pieces I have to find and where to put them when I do. But there is one thing that might help...

You know why they gave you jigsaw puzzles as a kid? so that when you grow up and you can't see the bigger picture taking shape,you'd remember the feeling of finding a missing piece, so that when you have to go by instinct, you'll know... you just...know.

Just like I know... now. :)

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