Wednesday, November 14, 2012

How it Ends

The hot alcohol seared her throat, her head was spinning her hair were drenched in perspiration. She drained the bottle empty, threw it out of the window and accelerated. Through her whiskey and tear blurred vision she searched for the edge of the cliff.

‘It’s all going to end soon’ she thought, ‘I'm going to end it.’

Everyone said college is going to be one of the best phases of her life. She always had her doubts, when has anything been even remotely good for her? She was always invisible in school, her grades were impeccable, but that doesn't make you popular in school. She wasn't pretty, neither was she 'hot', she never understood what was 'in' or what was 'dope' also when was it that a guy became your boyfriend. She was always the one hidden behind a novel, nobody loved her but nobody hated her either, and that's how she had spent her childhood - 'invisible'.

Then came college, she promised herself she would get noticed, make friends go out and who knows maybe even make out with a few guys. She consulted fashion blogs and magazines. She shopped for clothes and lip gloss. She'd never forget her first day of college, she dressed up not too 'over the top' as warned by the blogs, she chose a shirt that would match her complexion and jeans that should've made her legs look and butt look hot. She carefully brushed her hair and put on the berry gloss. She reached college but it was empty she realized she was early, so she sat in the canteen and took out a book to read. After sometime she looked up to find the canteen filled with students, some very pretty girls in dance pants passed her sipping from their sports bottles, there were groups of all sorts of people chatting, studying, eating. She saw a bunch of seniors making freshers dance on the bench and do other weird dares, she got up and walked to the edge of the fresher group. A small voice in her mind said “pick me”. She would do any of those weird antics they were making the first years do, just so long as that gets her noticed.

She waited and waited but there she was, back to square one, unnoticed and alone.
She could see the edge of the cliff now, it seemed pretty close.

‘There, now that’s how it ends.’ she thought. She pushed the gear and accelerated harder, she knew suicide was a sin but she was pretty sure even god won’t notice. Nobody is going to miss her. Nobody would notice that her desk is empty. The guy won’t notice that nobody is watching him at drama practice. Nobody would wonder why she doesn’t come to the library any more. Her co-passengers in the bus would be happy for the extra empty seat. Nobody noticed when she sneaked out the vodka bottles from the party. Even her mother didn’t notice when she snuck out in the car.

“Ma” she whispered, her mother’s face flashed in front of her eyes. Her mother always knew the right things to say, she would keep feeding her food when she studied for her exams. And all those times she pretended to be asleep and her mother kissed her on the forehead. She realized she would never be able to hug her mother again, her mother would never know why she lost her daughter, and she hadn’t even left a note. And her father, her ‘daddude’ who always had time for her no matter how much work he had. He would call her ‘princess’ and would never leave the house before seeing her face. Tomorrow for the first time in twenty years, he won’t be able to see her face in the morning.

“NOOOOO! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!” she screamed pressing the break frantically.
The car jumped off the cliff struck on a huge rock and burst into flames.