Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Hai maayus bada dil
Aaj rone ko ji chaahta hai
Unhi baazuon mei phir sone ko ji chahta hai
Vo jinhe kabhi garmjoshi mei jhatka tha
Bade sard mijaz hoke jinki
Har dua ko bistar pe patka tha
Aaj silvaton se usi bistar ki
Dhul sanjone ko ji chaahta hai
Hai maayus bada dil
Aaj rone ko ji chaahta hai

Thi loriyon ki goonj harr raat mei
Aur harr subah namazon si hoti thi
Phoonk phoonk meri balaaon ko
Apne maathe pe vo sanjhohti thi
Beech raat meri razaai uchkaane ko
Vo aksar neend se jaag jaya karti thi
Mere harr nakhre ko
bade naazon se uthaya karti thi
Mai roz kehti "offo ma deri ho rahi hai hatt bhi ja"
Vo roz kehti "beta naashta toh karti ja"

Mai haar gayi ma ab toh gussa chor de
Itni bhi narazgi yun chal di muh mor ke

Kal imtehaan hai mera dahi nahi chataao gi?
Dekh mai tayyar ho gai ma kaala teeka nahi lagaogi?

Vo jo ghee aur gurh chur ke tu banaya karti thi
Teri ungliyon ki khushbu mei sani
phir vahi churi khaane ko ji chaahta hai
Hai maayus bada dil
Aaj rone ko ji chaahta hai

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Missing pieces

In every group of children, there is a weird kid always, the one who had weird choices, whose jokes nobody got, who didn't like the same toys. I was that kid, I found the whole 'ghar-ghar' 'chor police' and the likes really pointless. I never understood why I should listen to Simon's weird third person commands... and hence I was the 'weird kid'.

I always found immense intrigue and poetry in jigsaws, the bigger the better. I simply loved the whole journey. When you start, its always a tossed case, because its such a long long way to the finish that you can't allow yourself to believe you'll be able to finish it at all. Then you start nevertheless, from a corner piece mostly. My first aim used to be to find the four corners always, you know, so you have a frame, then start by finishing the lines between each corner and finally filling the gaps in between.

Jigsaws, they used to be 'my thing' not barbies or doll houses... jigsaws, the one thing I'd rush to right after school, still in my uniform, trying to finish as many pieces as possible before my brother came home with his monster of an appetite.

And Sundays, my whole week used to be filled with daydreams of the beautiful Sunday morning, when Mommy would be home so I'll have all day to myself. I can't even count how many Sundays and how many puzzles I've solved as a child. When eventually, it became boring because I got the hang of it, I could sift the right pieces out with one swooshing glance at the bundle and solve the whole thing in no time at all. I remember the childish irritation then. As if the game had to be blamed for the tricks my mind had learnt with practice. And so I stopped playing it, I 'outgrew' it.

Now life feels like one long jigsaw Sunday. Though there is no picture on a cardboard to refer, there are no visible corner pieces, this is one shapeless jigsaw and all my tricks are either forgotten or failing. Though I've made a few lucky guesses. I don't even know how many pieces I have to find and where to put them when I do. But there is one thing that might help...

You know why they gave you jigsaw puzzles as a kid? so that when you grow up and you can't see the bigger picture taking shape,you'd remember the feeling of finding a missing piece, so that when you have to go by instinct, you'll know... you just...know.

Just like I know... now. :)