How it Ends

The hot alcohol seared her throat, her head was spinning her hair were drenched in perspiration. She drained the bottle empty, threw it out of the window and accelerated. Through her whiskey and tear blurred vision she searched for the edge of the cliff.

‘It’s all going to end soon’ she thought, ‘I'm going to end it.’

Everyone said college is going to be one of the best phases of her life. She always had her doubts, when has anything been even remotely good for her? She was always invisible in school, her grades were impeccable, but that doesn't make you popular in school. She wasn't pretty, neither was she 'hot', she never understood what was 'in' or what was 'dope' also when was it that a guy became your boyfriend. She was always the one hidden behind a novel, nobody loved her but nobody hated her either, and that's how she had spent her childhood - 'invisible'.

Then came college, she promised herself she would get noticed, make friends go out and who knows maybe even make out with a few guys. She consulted fashion blogs and magazines. She shopped for clothes and lip gloss. She'd never forget her first day of college, she dressed up not too 'over the top' as warned by the blogs, she chose a shirt that would match her complexion and jeans that should've made her legs look and butt look hot. She carefully brushed her hair and put on the berry gloss. She reached college but it was empty she realized she was early, so she sat in the canteen and took out a book to read. After sometime she looked up to find the canteen filled with students, some very pretty girls in dance pants passed her sipping from their sports bottles, there were groups of all sorts of people chatting, studying, eating. She saw a bunch of seniors making freshers dance on the bench and do other weird dares, she got up and walked to the edge of the fresher group. A small voice in her mind said “pick me”. She would do any of those weird antics they were making the first years do, just so long as that gets her noticed.

She waited and waited but there she was, back to square one, unnoticed and alone.
She could see the edge of the cliff now, it seemed pretty close.

‘There, now that’s how it ends.’ she thought. She pushed the gear and accelerated harder, she knew suicide was a sin but she was pretty sure even god won’t notice. Nobody is going to miss her. Nobody would notice that her desk is empty. The guy won’t notice that nobody is watching him at drama practice. Nobody would wonder why she doesn’t come to the library any more. Her co-passengers in the bus would be happy for the extra empty seat. Nobody noticed when she sneaked out the vodka bottles from the party. Even her mother didn’t notice when she snuck out in the car.

“Ma” she whispered, her mother’s face flashed in front of her eyes. Her mother always knew the right things to say, she would keep feeding her food when she studied for her exams. And all those times she pretended to be asleep and her mother kissed her on the forehead. She realized she would never be able to hug her mother again, her mother would never know why she lost her daughter, and she hadn’t even left a note. And her father, her ‘daddude’ who always had time for her no matter how much work he had. He would call her ‘princess’ and would never leave the house before seeing her face. Tomorrow for the first time in twenty years, he won’t be able to see her face in the morning.

“NOOOOO! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!” she screamed pressing the break frantically.
The car jumped off the cliff struck on a huge rock and burst into flames.

Shove it bully

I was just taking a walk in our society park when this really shy girl from 4th floor came from her coaching class, red cheeks watery eyes and all. So i waved at her, but she just called the lift and went home. i plugged on my i-pod and started walking again, i generally choose the stairs so while going back home i saw her sitting on the stairs,crying. Awkward as i am around wailing strangers, i thought i'd just creep back and use the lift instead
"why do they do this to me all the time?" she said suddenly and i realized my presence hadn't gone unnoticed. So i sat beside her and asked her in a calm soothing tone (i think) "who? what do they do?"
" These girls from class,they always push me around, making fun of my braces, poking me, calling me all sorts of 'fat names' i always help all of them with homework hoping they'd like me but... *choke* *sob* *choke* they don't ever play with me except hide and seek and then they hide and i can never find them...*choke* they never eat with me or call me for sleepovers... *choke over load threat* so i tried to calm her down by asking her if we could be friends. To which she replied with a 'braces special smile' and an enthusiastic nod of the head. So i invited her for a sleepover at my place, i asked her what theme would she like for our little sleepover and she said 'disney' so i said
"great then, get some disney pajamas and meet me at my place at eight" i called her mom and asked for permission. i went home fished out my own mickey mouse t-shirt (yes i have one and a winnie pooh wallet too) went to the market and got some balloons and a small disney chocolate box. We played the whole night, thumb painting, ludo, video games, then make-up man, balloon puppets, little baker what not. While tucking her in bed i told her "people who make you do their homework and then bully you around are never your friends"
"who are friends then?" she asked
after some thought i said "people who make you smile when you're crying"
"that means you" she said and hugged me (my turn to choke, i swallowed) and said
"yes, and from now on just remember one thing a bully only needs a bigger bully, i want you to go to school tomorrow and let them know they can't kick you around like that anymore, you're a strong girl and will fight back"
"yes i will" she said with that indignant face only an eleven year old can make.
"now go to sleep" i said, smiling.
....

The Girl you just called fat?
She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs.
The Boy you just called stupid?
He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night.
The Girl you just called ugly?
She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.
The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home.

There's a lot more to people than you think.

and moreover...what makes you think you're any authority to laugh at someone else anyway?

P.S. You should see her now, she never cries and we often play baddy in the park, she even has a boyfriend "sshssshhhh pinky secret, don't tell mum". :) :)

Bas yun hie

She sat there buttering the buttered toast, finally placing it on his plate. His hand emerged from behind the newspaper picked up the toast and vanished behind it again, she could hear the 'crunch' as he bit into it. He liked his toast just that way put in the toaster with the timer set on 'two'. For breakfast, he had exactly three toasts one buttered two with marmalade she was making and a mug of coffee made with milk powder mixed just before drinking. The coffee powder-his special brand nothing else sugar exactly one teaspoon. She would keep looking at his car till it turned around the corner, out of sight. Lately she had started taking extra care of his comforts, his breakfasts,his laundry,his towels and bedsheets. More often than not when he was not home, she found herself curled up on his side of the bed because it had his scent. More often than not she caught a tear escaping her eye on the sly as she watched him leave for office, just like today.

He got into the car, the driver closed the door behind him got in the car and he was on his way to work, he wondered if she still looked at the car from behind till it was out of sight? but did not turn back to look. Every morning they sat at the breakfast table together, she would make breakfast just the way he liked it, the toasts, the coffee. He even suspected her to have been paying careful attention to his laundry, towels and bedsheets. But could not muster the courage to fold the newspaper and look at her, take her hand in his and kiss it like he so wanted to.
More often than not these days he found himself staring at her face as she slept at night, gently touching the bangles she always wore or brushing aside a strand of hair
from her face. More often than not he caught himself stealing glimpses while pretending to be asleep when she came out of the bath. Her hair loosely playing around her neck, her scent filling the room and his senses. More often than not he found himself staring at her pictures in his lap top while going or coming from work just like right now.

They had had a love marriage, they started in a one bedroom apartment and had promised to work hard and build themselves their dream home. Back then, they would have breakfast together and she would have to push him out of the house so he doesn't get late for work. In the evening, he would come home, heap her in his arms kiss her forehead, they would have dinner together talking about the day, make plans for the future. He would kiss her hand and they would sleep in each others arms. Or he would kiss her hand and that would be the beginning of a wonderful sleepless night. Now many of those plans had taken shape, they lived in a wonderful apartment in one of the most expensive ares of the city, the only constant that remained from their past life were the sleepless nights, only they weren't wonderful anymore. Each lay on his or her side of the bed thinking of the same thing, thinking the other person was asleep, thinking how he missed the other person. Wondering if the other person felt the same. But never knowing, never trying. This had been going on for some time now, their silence had grown into a fragile,insurmountable wall. This went on for some more days.

Then one night something different happened, he came home late as usual, entered the bedroom and found her asleep at his side of the bed, wearing one of his shirts and her shorts, her legs curled together. Normally he would have been upset she spoiled the iron, but he kept his bag on the table, dropped on the floor in front of her. A tear trickled down his eye as he kissed her hand. The familiar long lost sensation woke her up, she saw him there and all at once, the wall crumbled. Her eyes welled. He heaped her in his arms, kissed the palm of her hand, each finger one by one. She was looking at him smiling, not believing he had been there all this while she just had to be on his side. He kissed her eyes, he brushed aside the hair from the nape of her neck, his fingers burning her skin, cupped her face in his hands and at long last their lips met...

the night was sleepless, wonderful.

bas yun hie tumhari yaad agai
bas yun hie hui aarzu,vo adhuri si nazm puri karlu
jo adhi takiyon pe, adhi silavton meh chorh di thi
unhi silvaton meh tumhari sanson ki dhun yaad agai
bhule se baithe thhe ek dusre ki yaad ko
ek chhat ke neeche ghum se gae thhe na?
bas yun hie dil ne kaha kuch baat toh karo
toh baton baton mei tumhari baat yaad agai