I sin I pray

i touch one I'm not betrothed to
i savor the unrightful kisses
i melt in the touch of wrong
i taste the liquor of betrayal
i let roving hands scratch it
i let hungry eyes wander on
this body of mine so called divine
i let it be smeared with white unpure
i howl and taste them bitter sweet
i feast on banned desires too
i wait for dark to open its eyes
i search for gullies mercifully hidden
i gulp the scents of flesh to flesh
i breathe unholy chants to ears
and then..
i sin i pray
i sin i pray
i sin...i prey

Your daughter of nineteen

Soon I will leave,
soon the arrangement
will be done
soon I will be told
the search has begun
i am quiet a something
i write and dance and sing
in your eyes though I'm seen
just a daughter of nineteen
your son bothers you not
in the colors of his skin
but i bother you much
your daughter of nineteen
and so you make your plans
and provide in every way
pedicures, jewels and henna
with silks in colors gay
know you not this determines me
to use this half a decade
to make me a son on the terms
suited to the world's fancy facade
thought i we were different
thought i, i had my share too
your wisdom, knowledge i doubt not
i know he shall surely be
"one hell of a guy" as they say
my torment is that you see
not having the choice of my way
not the choice of who he shall be
but the choice of him to be
...or not to be

Jaao...

Imli mei ghuli hai taron ki saazish
aaj na aankhein moondne denge
elaichi si mehekti hai ye koshish
aaj na neend goondne denge
uff... kamar pe baitho chup se
ho bass pallu bhulo matt
zaraa baal bhi baandhun ruk ke
kaan vaan pe chhuo matt
hasna manaa hai tumhara
yun baarish ki aavaz mei
phir dikh na jaana dobaara
mausam ke andaaz mei

Blogger in draft

11th post added to my draft list today, had blogger been my black spiral pad with colored pages it would have had 11 pages of half written poems and notes in it. I haven't written in a really really long time! and it has got nothing to do with my clogged life (i hope) but really it has started to bug me now how I cant seem to hold on to a thought long enough for it to make sense. Its almost like my own words have become mutineers against me. STOP underlining my spelling mistakes you fucker pc, I'm only human why don't you go bug someone else you portable blinking duck beak.

DAMMIT!

Ab toh jail mei jaana padega

Dekh dekh ke sapne,
thak gai hain aankhein
sab hain mere apne,
jhuki palkon se jhaakein

ab waqt ho chala hai
ankh uthaane ki sazaa hai
ab toh jail mei jaana padega
sapno ka bojh uthaana padega

nahi toh ye kambakht mujhe
jeene nahi denge bina bhujhe
jo pyas lagi hai udne ki
jalne ki na bujhne ki na mudne ki

zid se ab koi parda na rahaa
aaj issey khud hie sar chadhaaya hai
chori se chupaa rakha tha ankahaa
aj jurrat mei ghol pakaaya hai

ab se sirf aar ya paar hoga
har dar dar kinaar hoga
keh lo chaahe besharm banungi
par aaj se bass dil ki sunungi

kyuki tum toh aake chale jaoge
har roz ek nayaa bahaana banaoge
raat mei akeli reh jaaungi mai
khwabon ki khichdi pakaaungi mai

mirch thodi zyada, zaraa si haldi
tiffin mei daala uthaa ke chaldi
soongh ke bataao, khushbu ka rang
sambhal ke rakhi kitaabon ke sang

aaj dabba khola, rang ab bhi gehra hai
dabbe ke sheeshe mei mera hie chehra hai
par ye itna anjaana sa kyu hai
uss se jab pucha kya ye tu hai?

itra ke bola haan hun toh
par abhi quaid hun andar
mai begunaah hun voh
jissey sazaa e parda sunaa kar

tuney farzi chaen ki saans li thi
puchta hun meri arzi mei kya kami thi?
ab javaab dene ka waqt aaya hai
ja tujhe 2 pankh ka tohfa lagaaya hai

aur sazaa e udaan sunaai hai
jo logon ko jurrat nazar aayi hai
par aaj bass aisi aag lagaa
bhul jaae karna khud se dagaa

dekh dekh ke sapne
thak gayi hain aankhein